Okay...I'm Not Crazy

Evening
If you don't know me and my life this little saga is going to sound nutty. I don't really live with a ghost. This was a man I believe I could have spent the rest of my life with. I still think of him every day and dream about him often.

In my dreams he has aged with me. We are more like brothers than lovers...an old term. Everyone now uses the term partner, makes it sound like a business arrangement. The dreams are less frequent now than they we're a couple years ago. I think with everything that happened that year I sort of lost my need for him. My life is very quiet and sensible these days. But I still miss him.

I know the difference between reality and a dream. I have had 2 relationships since then, one with a woman that gave me a son. His middle name is Larry...she knew the whole story more than any one else and she was good with it. I was with her for 9 years and with Tony for 9 years. Seems to be the magic cut off number for me.

We had a great life together. So much of the man I am now was defined by him. A friend passed away suddenly almost 2 years ago. One of our last lengthy conversations was happening when Tony and I we're winding down. We we're sitting in a park waiting for a theater to open. He looked up and told me it was okay, but he felt mainly sad for Tony. His comment was "He never had a chance, he couldn't compete with Larry's ghost". I was struck speechless, and that rarely happens.

Time to go put up the tree or at least dig all of that stuff out of the attic.

Life is Good
Tale Care Of Yourself And Those You Love
Dale